"Maybe because you don't intend to live very long, you're making the most of
what you have"
and maybe I am. Except that I'm not really. I mean, if I really were to die in say, a year. My life plan would be entirely different from what it is now.
To say I want to die "badly" is perhaps an exaggeration- more like, if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't really mind all that much...so long as I was wearing a nice pair of undies.
But well, wanting to die so badly also makes for very bad long term planning. I guess I should PLAN for the event that I don't magically drop dead on the eve of my 30th birthday.