Saturday, December 31, 2005

another year over

last christmas

this christmas

and just like that, it's been another year. And boy, what a crazy year it's been. Emotionally, Physically, Mentally.

From the top of Europe in freezing tops of -16 degrees, to the hottest place on earth in December where the weather today is a forecasted 42.

It's a one way road that I've got to keep travelling down, hoping to become a better person at the end of it all.

Thank you to all of you who have been there, and to the people whom I haven't contacted, know that you're in my mind anyway. And thank you for having been there in spirit if not in person. I wouldn't have made it without you all.


Friday, December 30, 2005

freefalling is such a rush

like most eventful days, this one had an eventful start.

At quite literally the crack of dawn, I woke up to the infernal sound of birds tweeting and my alarm clock playing something I now don't remember but was nonetheless annoying. As I sat at the local Baker's Delight waiting for my friends, I chomped on several bread rolls and pondered on whether I could possibly wake up to try Brown's one day.

Then they arrived. 3 crazy Columbians (2 of whom were hung over and had only slept 4 hours) and me, packed into a jalopy that would take us to our date with destiny. Needless to say, like all epic adventures, our jalopy ran into trouble by 8am.

yes, that is green shit coming out. It's not as scary as it seems....(that's right, it's not radioactive slime) it's just the coolant. Our car had seems out radiator cap seal was broken.

Nonetheless, we made it to Euroa in one piece, and on time too!

Once there, I spied the Cessna plane that would take us up to over 10 000ft- a single propeller plane I'd once taken a ride in...and that last ride was over the Grand Canyon in extreme tubulence. So bad that even our pilot threw up at the end of it all.

Thankfully, it was Euroa, where the weather is almost always excellent and the plane ride was really uneventful. when they flung open the door, cool air blasted us immediately and I was instructed to swing my legs over the edge of the plane as we'd be taught on ground, and as "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE" passed through my mind while staring at what looked like minature models of real buildings complete with stick trees loomed 10 000ft below, I was unceremoniously flung out the plane.

Freefalling at a ridiculous rate, we did a somersault where I saw the back of the plane fall away, and it felt like swimming, only lighter. a few seconds of falling strrrraight down later, we were stabilised (as much as stabilised when falling at terminal velocity can be) and a few seconds after that the parachute was pulled and we were gliding towards the drop zone.

Scott decided I was one of the "cool calm and collected cool cats" and actually let me work the parachute for one or two 360 turns (he didn't let go of course) while I watched cars still look like little toy ones drive by.

As we touched down, I realised that I'd skydived more than 6000ft in less than a minute....and that I'd broken 2 of my nails from the sheer velocity of zooming towards earth at up to 220kmph. you gotta love the rush.

After all 4 of us completed our jumps, we collected DVDs that my friends had ordered (watching your cheeks flap is really quite amusing) and hopped into our bung car looking for a service station. We fixed the seal cap, drove to Shepparton, and realised that the car was still overheating.

We stopped for lunch, hoping that the car would cool down, but after about 15km, we had to stop by the roadside in 36 degree heat to let the car cool down. As Jose unscrewed the cap, the water literally geysered out, and all of us ran for cover and let the car rest for another half an hour.

It didn't help. a few minutes and 3km later, we drew to a stop at RACV Nagambie where we asked for help. Apparently the car would take 3 days to fix, not including new years and we were stranded in Nagambie while RACV searched for a car in the vicinity for us.

While waiting for an answer, we sat at the local supermarket, reading old fashioned country ads on the community noticeboard including this one

and watch the sun set in the little town of Nagambie

4 hours later, they found one in a town 20km away and rang a taxi from that town to drive up AND down again, when we drove into a garage. It was about 9pm.

A few Juan Pablo Montoya jokes later, we were in another jalopy. But this one had AIR!

Yessss.........all we needed after a swelteringly hot day. AIR CONDITIONING.

There was no highway radio, no Triple J, but as sunset faded to dusk, and dusk into twilight, and twilight finally into darkness, we were still chattering on and our car was still going strong.

I arrived home at 11.30pm, hot, sticky, sweaty but happy. Not bad considering I'd thrown myself out of a perfectly good plane only 12 hours before.

Wishing: it wasn't going to be so hot tomorrow (42!!!)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

yeah. I'm still alive. woe is the world.

I'll fotolog soon but in the meantime, page one of ninety-nine.

(click to enlarge)

reading: Howl's Moving Castle

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

and I'm jumping, from a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again

I'm jumping out of a plane tomorrow and if the parachute don't work, well then, Merry X'mas to you all and a happy new year.

and if you want to come to my funeral, please tell me mum not to play overwrought classics like Amazing Grace and Swing Low Sweet Chariot, and tell me dad not to go the other damn way and play the Baby Elephant Dance. and if they must, I want it gospel style. GOSPEL STYLE.

NO NO NO NO NO. I don't want a Christian OR Buddhist or even Taoist funeral. (and no, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Sikh are out of the question)


if some poor bereaving sod wants to read a psalm/something out of the bible/torah/quaran/ancient holy texts of any language then they can go right ahead. but no singular denomination for me please. It really isn't in line with my agnosticism. If someone wants to step up and tell the world that aliens are the missing link and that really, no one should be crying because soon, I'll be pushing up daisies and other assorted weeds, and it's nature's way of recycling things, then DON'T STOP HIM.

actually, I'd find it pretty funny. (same goes if a certain colleague from internship decides to step up and tell the world that THERE IS NO GOD and that honestly truly, our sad little existence on this earth is to procreate and end up as fertiliser, then LET HIM and if you can get Jack Black/Jerry Sienfeld/the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway? to emcee and make some really witty jokes or even an entire theatre sports section about death even if it's at my expense, then go right ahead)

My funeral shall be a riot. and yeah, all races creeds and religions are welcome.

P/S please, NO professional wailers, NO chinese orchestra (not even the teochew style you hear me?) NO church organs, nada. just my winamp list if you must (use the playlist labelled party2) and you can use all my organs for medical research/saving poor crippled kids, and oh. cremation please. and then toss my ashes into the wind. Wanderlust doesn't stop just because my body has.

P/S/S and please cremate my father with a pair of earplugs because it's his private final wish to me. He hates sanskrit chanting so.

that green rubber tutu kinda grows on me (and secretly, I still have a crush on atreyu)

so. I watched a remake of one of my few childhood celluloid movies. i.e. The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe.

and while I really loved it, WHAT IS IT WITH MIDGET INDIAN ACTORS?????

1st LOTR, then Willy Wonka, now this?

other than that, the white witch was suitably scary (although I really prefer the TV version because she was so much colder....not passionate and fiery- although it could've been because I was 6 when I saw that, and her palace was blue themed (more icy than eerie) and glided round in a sleigh even within the palace) mmmmmm turkish delight. I ate turkish delight in Turkey long before I read the books so I don't have a strange affliction of turkish-delight-phobia that a lot of other people seem to have. (although I have heard heaps of people wanting turkish delight because of the movie)

nonetheless, if there are any girls my sister's age reading this, I recommend this one for the perve factor as opposed to Harry Potter.

Cedric Diggory? I mean look at THIS.

sure he scrubs up....OH KAY

but if that's the best that dear old Potter can offer when everyone knows that there are many more good-looking guys resideing in ye olde united kingdoms (what? Cho Chang had a distinctively Scottish accent, don't tell me you couldn't hear it) then dammit, on perve factor alone Narnia should win. (on an aside note, where the hell do they get all these kids who can really really act?)

other than that...the lion really rocked, I wonder if they employed FF animators to do that old individual hair strands trick. hmmmm. centaurs were cooler than I thought they'd be, and gosh, they had gryphons! a lot smaller than I'd imagined but pretty cool anyway. hmmm gryphons.

ok. 1st midnight mass at St Pats, then Narnia. I reckon I'm getting more Christian allegory than I bargained for.

Faith is a many spledoured thing.

Listening to: Lil Jon and the Ying Yang Twins - A Lil Low Now

p/s mummy? why are white tigers evil? why are leopards good? But I like white tigers. and the lion! Daddy, I want white tigers and Aslan for Christmas.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

coz I'm pimpin


I had a bad day and couldn't be bothered looking for my good angle before I took the photo.

You know, the angle where my hair is radiantly bouffant so I have an Angelina-esque blow wave, my lips look plush, the mysterious non-herpes on my skin (they're not on my lips dahhhling, they can't be!) are but charming freckles, and my contact lenses make me glow, baby, glow.

ahhh you know what Asian Blondes are like, we're all the same. Give us some black eyeliner and an unsteady hand, and we look shit hot. yeah man. Even Zhang Ziyi could look hot if she actually followed those rules! That girl really needs some plastic surgery. Then she can look as good as I do!

one day, when all this is done, I'm going to party till I don't remember my name. Actually, I'm not too sure if I remember it right now.

tra lala....what was I saying again?

oh. whatever, btw reddirtgirl has been doing a fotolog of Nicole Richie carrying things. She's so strong that Nicole. Sometimes she even manages a Starbucks Venti AND a mobile. I was so impressed. Until I saw the skinny Olsen.

Look at the size of that folder AND a Starbucks Venti! I almost thought she was clinging on to it for support for a moment. young kids nowadays. Maybe I should schedule in a liposuction. Everyone's talking about Paris and Nicole and Mary Kate and Lindsay and Jessica and their little skinny bodies.

Oh it's so hard being gorgeous.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

asian parents

Whenever the Asians want to get a point about their parents across to other Asians, we say "Asian Parents" and the other parties normally nod knowingly.

They're just one of a kind.

Like Russell Peters' skit about his dad watching the mardi gras on TV and seeing some gay indian guys "DO YOU KNOW THEM??!!!???"

and Russell Peters just looking at him like he's gone daft and saying, "NO, why the hell should I?"

"because there are a lot of gays in the entertainment industry and YOU are IN the entertainment industry"

well, my parents just left after a week and in their aftermath I have

4 clothes hangers (because we won't use it and you need it and we brought it specially for you)
about 5kg of mangoes and 3 tangerines so huge they're the size of my size 9 feet ( too enamoured with Aussie produce)
an old shower curtain (you're moving! besides, it can be used as a table cloth! Look, it's so neutral the colour somemore)
lots of bank issues
lots of stuff solved


lots of issues in general

don't get me wrong. I like my parents. But asian parents are possibly the only ones to travel over 14000 miles to hand you clothes hangers, 2 pairs of cotton boxers that once belonged to dad but are too small, one pair of men's running shorts complete with ball support, and an old shower curtain that smells like nana's closet.

Graduation presents also included a little God Loves You Booklet (from Mum's secretary, hellbent on converting me since I hit puberty). God loves me yes I know. For the booklet tells me so!

they've been startlingly nice this trip I have to say, and I have to sleep now...will wake up at crack of dawn to call them

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

these "soothing tracks of peace and tranquility" are not working.

Serenity is not reaching me through my murky depths of misery through the thick ropes of stress.

annoyance levels are so high, I'm almost angry.

I'm tired, stressed, and cranky.

as you can see, I'm not even trying to make this crankily, rantily, sarcastically funny.
and I'll probably laugh in the morning.

but in the meantime...


LISTENING TO: Bach- Christmas Oratorio: Sinfonata

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I am on a warpath. Avoid me if you can.

I am also too busy to offer more than single sentence replies to ANY email at the moment.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

this is just a list of shit I have to do...

  • find out how to get a letter from DIMIA asking for Assurance of Support
  • booking the HIV test and seeing if i really need a new health check (goodbye 250 bucks)
  • paying my water bills
  • booking time with eric to see his place, and house hunting in general
  • pay my health insurance
  • arrange my grad ceremony photos
  • arrange itinerary for parents
  • ring agents to threaten to kill them if they give me more false info.....and make sure they haven't vanished

so technically my day HAS to start at 8.30 tomm morning or I'm screwed.

and so I don't forget, Tuesday afternoon is reserved for househunting which is why I swapped shifts. I tend to forget these things.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

escape from x'mas!

I ran away from the work x'mas party and went grocery shopping instead. I didn't know anyone and I wasn't in the mood to walk up to people and introduce myself. However, I craftily made sure I was conspicuous so no one can accuse me of a no-show.

I even took some time out to soak in live covers of big band tunes like "come fly with me" and "beyond the sea". AND grab one of those unidentified fried objects being passed around on platters by formally dressed waiters. (not to mention I had a cowboy hat perched on my head and said hi to everyone in my section of the company)

I am so good at this shit.

Does it matter that I piked half an hour in... after spending almost all of it on the phone to gerri? I think not. In fact, I even managed to secure a Cabcharge (which I didn't use because I'm a nice decent honest law-abiding sort-of-citizen of Singapore, the land where they hang people)


It's time for a new haircut...I graduate in 2 weeks and I can't resemble Barkly from Sesame Street. Especially when my sister is into the bad habit of posting my grad photos on HER friendster account and somehow managing to choose the one in which I bear a striking resemblance to a pig.

Friends have recommended Rokk Ebony. I will consider it most carefully given that I will be broke this month. (and it's only the 1st!) other options- Lure on Smith St, Xiang QV


looking at eric's place next week...if not, I NEED A HOUSEMATE!!!!! been looking at shared accomodation, but it's tough when they're all available immediately or in 2 weeks and you really want something for mid-late January.


I need a day off. I will be getting some when my parents come. But I don't consider those days off. I might need a day off from those days off. I need it to sort housing out, and pack. and shit like that. You know. Life.