Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I started the day with a french beret guy swinging from a sand eiffel

i was supposed to do all these important things online last night....check my office email (done), pay my rent (done), check my graduation stuff (done), email mum (done), and I can't remember WHAT ELSE!!! that's the bad part.

if someone remembers, please tell me. My brain is on holiday.


I woke up this morning and found a man in a french beret and black and white striped shirt playing an accordion swinging from a sandcastle in the shape of the eiffel tower.

then at 6.30 the ad execs started beating a path to my door.

the fun didn't stop...I had such a quiet morning. I even had a catnap on top of one of those mortuary freezers.

also filled with such love happiness and inner peace. *cough*

imploding at such force


dinner was good though. I almost forgot I'd been having a shitty day.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

arghhhhh some people

Am I being discriminatory? Yes I am.

you know, the problem with stupid people is that there's absolutely NO USE trying to talk sense into them, or to take a more egalitarian view, to try get them to even SEE where you're coming from. and since they can't SEE where you're coming from let alone conceptualise it, they just....stop at point B when you're talking from point C. They just can't go past a certain point, so their logic becomes circular or pedantic.

It's like how a 2D drawing could never conceptualise 3D really, and how we in 3D could never really concieve of a fourth dimension...really.

So anyway, I'm interning at a company and everyone knows interns are at the absolute pond scum level of the pecking order. But well, sometimes, I swear, I'm smarter than the some people higher up (and since I'm not persecuting ANYONE by saying this since every bloody person in the 500-strong office is higher up than I am) . Where this person got by years of experience, I certainly don't begrudge them. It's certainly not easy to survive in this cutthroat industry and what they doesn't have in IQ I'm sure they more than make up for in many many other ways. I'm not even 100% positive if I myself can survive. It takes a certain type of person.

BUT today, that person had the most....silly conversation with me.

"So. Where are you originally from again?"


"Oh. I always thought you came from Hong Kong"

I laughed. "Oh no, I can't speak a word of Cantonese!"

"What language do you speak then?"


"At home? Like your parents"


"Yeah right, so why do you have an accent?"

Geek cuts in (he's a real geek, but he's honestly the coolest person in there- not to say the rest of them aren't cool- they are- he's just the coolest) "yeah. Singaporeans all sound American"

"Singapore's official language is English. All our legal documents are in English"

Person looks bewildered and shocked for a moment.

"but why do you have an accent?"

"Yeah. it's a Singaporean accent"

"That's BULLSHIT! There's no such thing as a Singaporean accent"

"Yes there is...." I'm half amused "...Americans have an American accent, Canadians have a Canadian one, South Africans have a South African one, Singaporeans have a Singaporean one"

Person sits there, and you can literally see the cogs in person's brain working furiously. It's like the thought of Americans having an accent has never occured. I almost wanted to add and Aussies have an Aussie accent too- but didn't want to throw person off.

Person finally pronounces- "no! but you have an accent! there's no such thing as a Singaporean accent!"

I step out of the taxi, and try to cut some slack "if it makes you feel any better, I can speak Mandarin really badly"

Geek has given up. I give up too.

NB: I honestly don't think this person meant any harm. Person definitely wasn't being racist and mean. Also believe person isn't 100% Anglo and I've heard quite a few close friends of person's going "that's such a wog thing to say/do" so I'm doubly sure it wasn't meant in that way. Also a very forthright person.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I need to be let out more often

apparently I need to be let out more often. Because I seem to be getting natural highs on simply not being at work. I'm serious.

and no, it's not the chocolate/coffee talking.

I was let loose on Friday for an old-school staff reunion (only 3 of us still work there) and we finally settled into a TAB. rofl. so there we were, 6 crazy people in a TAB full of middle-aged pokies addicts, really getting stuck into our beers.

Afterward, I met someone else from work at the Gin Palace, and her boyfriend introduced us to his friends, who are all just as crazy.

I laughed till my stomach hurt. It really isn't everyday you get a crazy Columbians tell you that people are constantly asking them for drugs just because they're Columbian. I guess maybe if they travel in groups of 2 or more they actually look like an organised crime outfit. *poker faced look*

Today, we all went up to knifepoint highpoint for a little work outing, and I promptly got high in the car, and started giggling at everything and anything. my friends were just looking at me and going "Shut the bitch up"

before resorting to shut-kids-up tactics like

"you wanna waffle?"
"because if your mouth is full maybe you'll stop giggling and making no sense"

"look over there!"
"what??? what????"
"nah, was trying to distract you"

I really wasn't make any sense come to think of it, although it all seemed very funny at the time. Like a restaurant named "chicken palace". I had the most ludicrous image of chickens literally ruling the roost....little courtier chickens and chickens on thrones....chicken knight errants against The Jelly Factory.

There was a childhood memeory I was basing it on, I can still remember a few ducklings swimming in a fountain over in New York, and a poor doorman having to walk the ducks to and from their swim, along red carpet of one of the classiest hotels in New York. I always found it so grotesque that I probably will remember it for the rest of my life.

Anyway, we reached highpoint, and BOUNDED out of the car, sprinted into the mall screaming at the top of our lungs, and running like there really was a person coming after us with a knife and an intent to stab. the people inside could hear us coming from a mile away.

all without the help of any drugs legal or illegal. We're just nuts. Stir crazy at the thought of AN OUTING.

we are so deprived. and yes, I need to be let out into the excercise yard a little more. kampung chicken tastes better.


I want someone fired. Really. I mean, it's not just the fact that his face looks like the entire pubic region. He also talks non-stop to the point where he frightens customers.

no, I am not being mean. We call him pube-face behind his back because he has facial hair that looks...WRONG. not to mention the hair on his head sits just so.

He literally grabs customers hands, and he traumatised all of us by kissing us.



well, yeah, he's got boy germs. I don't know him. I'm not letting his boy germs anywhere near my girl germs.

Listening to: Andy's newest Lemon Jelly. (not made with chickens from the chicken palace)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

the singapore blogosphere is a zombie lynch mob

EDIT: oh check it out! Yahoo news now gives the option of searching blogs for news too!

EDIT2: oh great. NOW they find the vaccine. if you haven't the faintest what I'm talking about, refer to Octber posts.

really. they are.

something about the singapore blogosphere sometimes reminds me of the singapore climate, the singapore mentality, in general.

My boss once told me that back in Israel, killings and murders and suicides would always increase at the start of the hot season, and sometimes I wonder if the whole of Singapore is just....a sauna you can't get out of.

Resulting in cranky cranky people who sit round nitpicking, being judgemental, and making value judgements that really aren't any of their damn business.

offkilter once mentioned to me "DO THEY EVEN REALISE WHAT THE SG BLOGOSPHERE IS LIKE?" and she's right, given half a chance, these people will rip you to shreds just because you don't conform to their idea of whatever it is their idea is.

and chalyz once commented what a huge phenomenon blogging in Singapore is, to such an extent that she's uncomfortable with reading Singaporean blogs because they're....more PR than most.

if they can't find fault in one way, they'll just pick on some tiny thing that seems wrong and gnaw from there. and then people jump on the bandwagon. and then people start wanting attention, and so they start making even more inflamotary remarks.

even on my predominantly US-readership old blog, the only ones who started blog wars on my blog, the ones who left snide comments, they were all the singaporeans.

I don't know. Sometimes, I really miss Singapore, and sometimes, I don't even understand it. The more people talk to me, the more they realise how far apart from Singapore I am...how I don't even understand half the cultural contexts, subtexts. and sometimes, even talking to other people, I realise how Asian I am in some ways, and how un-Asian I am in so many others.

What the hell is the big fucking deal? honestly.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I told you I look like I'm 16


was putting through a transaction today, and I was happily chatting to this old couple...and I mean old. not old enough for me to expect them to be home with slippers and a cat, but old enough that I'd call them nuovo-riche retirees...the type you'd expect to live in an open-plan house and spend their weekends sailing, or in their case, cycling.

and after the transaction had gone through, the wife walked away to find a table, and the guy stayed behind, made sure his wife was well out of earshot, and leaned in

"you get full marks for service...and cuteness"'


I pretended I didn't understand in true Asian "I no speak Engrish" style, and said

"aww. thank you!"

and prayed he would shove off given a growing queue behind His Smarminess.

I. will. never. wear my red plaid skirt and fuck-me boots with this hairstyle. EVER.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

me and my short hair

ok, embarrassed as I am about my photos beside the beauteous Dawn Yang's visage, I'll play fair, especially to the people I only communicate with via my blog.

Miss you guys. love you guys. will post better ones once I ring and beg pris to fix my goddamn hair so I don't look like a goddamn 16 year old MGS schoolgirl complete with kinky glasses.

in fact, I shall email pris right now.

I shall do my best gay-man-in-woman's-body-with-15-year-old-face....


I SO, LOOK LIKE, A 15 YEAR OLD. I mean, Lolita is like, so hot right now, but this is like, CRRAAAAAAAAZY!

I need more ooompph! OOMPH! Pris! OOMPH!

so can you do something dahhhhhling????


Pris, you know I'm joking. I'll ring you up right now and speak to you in normal tones. Promise.

absolutely faaaahbulous dahling.

still addicted to Roksopp with additional listening on the side to Dishwalla's Angels and Devils, courtesy of the beautiful Loon. Thanks again dude.

Friday, November 11, 2005


I just realised I have 2 months to find a housemate. eek.


Monday, November 07, 2005

h a v e
h a i r
n o w
(I look like a 14 year old)

do not disturb.
It's even hiding from me.



I baked a kick-ass cheesecake that's now sitting at work.

rave reviews are coming in thick and fast. heh heh heh.

ROYKSOPP'S THE UNDERSTANDING is still permeating my ears...possibly one of the best things I've heard in a long time.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

for a certain friend

yeah so I don't update as often as I used to. I know. 2 jobs and 7 day weeks tend to do that.

The weather's far too hot. I feel feverish even when I'm not sick...or am I? I get headaches...and I've been having fucked up dreams.

other than that, well, I guess the highlight of my day has been Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

2nd only to Johnny Depp. something about boys named Johnny.

actually, let's talk about boys.

see, it's the intense look I like. The dark hair, tanned/dark/dusky skin, the light eyes that I like. the piercing stare. And I like them lean.

I even think girls like that are hot. Jennifer Conolley, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Dita Von Teese. well, ok. Dita isn't that tan.

everyone says I like them skinny but it's not true (see above), and my friend claims the only reason why the guys have such intense stares is because they're really hungry and when they see any human being all they can think about is eating them.


well, that's one genre down. People don't understand that I don't really have "types" I like guys of all colour, shape and heights. I just have a predisposition for lean tan ones.

which brings me to cat eyes.

you know, like Tyson Beckford. perhaps his body is a little too buff, but his face. hmmmmm.

and pelvic bones. (see above, and refer to calvin klien models)

and bee-stung lips

and high cheekbones

and everyone knows about my 3 minute crushes that last for the duration of a song that any random guy who can sing happens to be singing.

oh and of utmost importance- HAIR. I don't care what hairstyle you wear, so long as it suits.

So there you have it. my fetishes in one blog post.

oh. and arm veins. No bodybuilders thanks- just nice.

Like this. random guy's arm gotten off the internet. Hope whoever he is doesn't mind.

as my boss once said

"guys actually don't mind being objectified...unlike girls."

and I'm hoping it holds true in this case.

listening to: Royksopp- The Understanding (Deluxe Edition)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Queen of Girl Power

even google is celebrating. GO MAKYBE!

For those who don't know, she's won a historic 3rd Melbourne Cup, is the first mare to do this all while carrying the world record for weight handicap for a mare.

and she's won the Cox Plate this year so you can't say she's shit.


she's also got the Australian Cup and the Sydney Cup. making her the only mare to ever win a Melb and Syd Cup Double.


a world record on the 2000m grass track.


all you need for girl power. not to mention she's fiesty and known to bite ears.

oh. and she's pretty too.