Saturday, June 30, 2007

the Transformers rap.

Tuesday. I'm holding out till Tuesday.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

toilet cubicles and wrong calls

You know that really annoying toilet cubicle door that only opens sofar and not a millimetre more and you have to squeeeeeze through?


well, I was at Palms today and they had one of those toilet cubicles where you couldn't even do the chicken dance if you wanted to. (And if you do, I don't want to know)

It was a good thing my butt's gotten soft from lack of gymming of late, because I really had to squish my way through. Really not good for the bladder.

Also not good for anyone larger than a size 6, which boggles the mind when their specialities are so fattening (but so, so good).

What about fat women? Are they relegated to the disabled toilet? Are we as an Australian public finally recognising obesity as a disease? Is size 8 fat?

All these questions!

Relieved and back at the table, (getting out was the easy part since the door opened inwards) I then proceeded to sms a friend to tell her I was 15min late.

Of course, I had to sms a prospective employer instead. No, make that the MD of a prospective firm.

not a minute later, I received this reply

"Hi sway, sorry to hear you're running late! I'm still are you? MD (prospective firm)"

My guardian shakes his head disbelievingly at me. I have an attack of the giggles.

I finally end up writing

"slightly late thank you, thanks for your sms, seem to have my MDs and Friends mixed up. Hope it's not some godforsaken hour over there. Catch up when you're back!"

Since there was a difference of about 19 letters in between the MD's name and Friend's name, he must think I'm ultra-friendless.

May be good for job prospecting. *dry tone*

Listening to: Wrapped Around Your Finger - Tori and Bjork's remake of The Police

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Sexy never left, he was waiting for the right email

Recently, Steely-eyed met me up.

"You seen what Samantha posted on the thread recently?" he asked with a glint in his eyes.

"What?" I ask, munching on pasta.

"Go take a look. She said her usual stuff, blah blah...and then said that I was the sexiest manager in the world"

I proceed to choke on said pasta.

Sure enough, on the thread is her post blah blah blah....visit the branch here occasionally, still think Steely-eyed is sexier than the managers here.


So I spend the next lunch we have together bagging the crap out of him until my friend The Architect calls.

"Hey babe, having lunch with Steely-eyed. You remember him, my ex-boss?"

"SEXY ex-boss" he calmly smiles from across the table

Archi hears it and laughs. I shoot him my dragon lady stare

"sexy ex-boss he says," I repeat calmly into the phone as he smirks

"No lack of self confidence there!" Archi exclaims,

"Uh, none at all." I say, staring at Steely-eyed as he sits there mouthing "SEXY" at me.

I end the conversation fairly quickly before shooting him another glare as he looks just about set to start rapping "If sexy never left then why's everybody on my ca-a-a-a-aase" and paying for our lunch (my turn to shout, plus it was his birthday).

Which means that this is an official complaint letter to my dear friend "Samantha", who knows exactly who she is. LOOK AT THIS BEAST YOU HAVE CREATED. MAKE IT GO AWAY.

and by the way. drop him an email, you can't cock tease like that. It's cruel.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"

on the road.

Friday, June 22, 2007

coffee love

on a toilet wall in Brunswick St.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Home is where the heart is, and right now, home is on 5 different continents.

I spend days varying between thinking that this is a good thing, or that this is a bad thing.

Somedays, I think that no matter how many times friends leave, it never gets any better. Somedays, I think I'm a better person for it, and that at some level, I'm so used to it that anything can happen and I'll react a lot better to it than so many other people. Somedays, I think it makes me an emotional fucktard.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

you know you're an expat kid when...

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?" (And when you do, you get into an elaborate conversation that gets everyone confused
and/or makes you sound very spoiled.)


2. You flew before you could walk.

yes. and I don't remember it.

3. You have a passport, but no driver's license.

Well, I do. But I don't drive.

4. You think California is cold.

Maybe not.

5. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.


6. You run into someone you know at every airport.


7. Conversations with friends take place at 6:00 in the morning or 10:00 at night.


8. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.

uh, nah.

9. You can speak with authority about the quality of various international airlines.


10. You feel self conscious around all white people.

hmmm. sometimes?

11. You get offended when someone turns down an offer for food.

I've since learnt not to.

12. You live at school and go home for vacation.

I used to.

13. You know the true meaning of "football." (and in your mind can hear the shout, "GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")

uh huh.

14. You know that it truly is a small world.


15. You are used to being stared at.


16. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.


17. Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around.

Not anymore.

18. You've woken up in the middle of the night to watch the Superbowl on cable.


19. You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country.

nah. Singapore's too small for me not to know it. Although I nearly got killed by someone because I said Holland Village was in the North. erk. I base it around the CBD ok?

20. Your best friends are from 5 different countries.


21. You're spoiled. You know it. You're VERY spoiled.

I'm not. I never was, but everyone else was!

22. You ask your roommate when the cleaner is scheduled to come clean.

No, but I wish it alot!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

adventures on the high winds

After a week of crazy weather (keep in mind it's been raining ever since), the crate men's 2nd coming at Victoria Park are still holding up.

The last 2 of the original 4!