Sunday, September 02, 2007

picking up the slack

I'll admit. My blogs of 2007 have mainly been fairly half-hearted attempts.

So it's my resolution to actually write properly from now on. Just so I can look back at my own posts and not get bored.

My last random AND boring post for the year:

I saw a blue bunny today. You read right. Blue, like the sky when the sun's shining. It was a natural white bunny, as given away by its telltale red eyes, but yes, its owner must have thought it cute to dye the poor thing blue and attach a fuschia pink leash to it.

I wonder if it hurts albino skin to have it dyed since albinos are so sensitive to the external environment. HMMM.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I did.

Go get your vaccine today girls.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Colonial Tales

While serving a customer some coffee today, I discovered rather startling facts about her.

She probably won't mind a little publicity, so I'll put her up. She's a Nina Simone impersonator with a tribute show she does at The Butterfly Club. She also does quite a few electronica things in line with say...Sarah McLachlan remixed.

What really got me though, was that she said her great-great-grandparents used to run Sierra Leone and they sold it to the British in exchange for tobacco and alcohol.


How many people do you meet who can tell you that? "My great great grandparents sold Sierra Leone"


My maids back in Singapore used to tell me that their grandfather signed the handover document from the British back to Burma (back when it was called Burma) for their tribe, although the Burmese then took total control, sparking a huge civil war, and he became a guerilla.

And I had another maid who was a Tamil in Sri Lanka with an abusive husband who could pass himself off as Singhalese, and she used to tell stories of the Tamil Tigers while teaching me classical Indian dancing...

I thought that was so exciting back then...fighting for a piece of land and some rights you believed was yours...and now I've met a person whose forefathers clearly believed that you could sell it all up for some tobacco and alcohol.

It's a crazy world out there.

Monday, July 16, 2007

I'm just wondering exactly how many transexuals I can see in one day. I'm not even located anywhere near a gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender area.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

my remaining tattoo plans are crystalising.

When researching, I came across the real meaning of lorem ipsum:

A mangled fragment from Cicero's De Finibus Bonorum et Malorum ("On the Limits of Good and Evil", 45 BC), used as typographer's filler to show fonts (a.k.a. greeking). An approximate literal translation of lorem ipsum might be "sorrow itself", as the term is from dolorum ipsum quia, meaning "sorrow because of itself", or less literally, "pain for its own sake".

And you wonder why the hell lorem ipsums cause people in advertising so much pain.


I read this in paper form a long time ago (2002, according to its author) and I've always found it to be one of the best pieces of writing I've ever read.

and I long for many things, I just know not what most of the time.

I supress lots of things, and longing is one of them.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Picture post

God I love my new phone.

Filter's most excellent eggs. To quote Bryan Adams, thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

Botanical next!

The rooftop of Bimbos. They've done some neat things since I last frequented the place- which was right before Adam died.

Creatures from The Dreaming were roaming the streets right outside the Koori Heritage Centre today. I thought they were really cool - one even had glowing red eyes. They never spoke, but were really friendly!

Listening to: Faith No More- Epic


Sunday, July 01, 2007

I miss Katong

Saturday, June 30, 2007

the Transformers rap.

Tuesday. I'm holding out till Tuesday.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

toilet cubicles and wrong calls

You know that really annoying toilet cubicle door that only opens sofar and not a millimetre more and you have to squeeeeeze through?


well, I was at Palms today and they had one of those toilet cubicles where you couldn't even do the chicken dance if you wanted to. (And if you do, I don't want to know)

It was a good thing my butt's gotten soft from lack of gymming of late, because I really had to squish my way through. Really not good for the bladder.

Also not good for anyone larger than a size 6, which boggles the mind when their specialities are so fattening (but so, so good).

What about fat women? Are they relegated to the disabled toilet? Are we as an Australian public finally recognising obesity as a disease? Is size 8 fat?

All these questions!

Relieved and back at the table, (getting out was the easy part since the door opened inwards) I then proceeded to sms a friend to tell her I was 15min late.

Of course, I had to sms a prospective employer instead. No, make that the MD of a prospective firm.

not a minute later, I received this reply

"Hi sway, sorry to hear you're running late! I'm still are you? MD (prospective firm)"

My guardian shakes his head disbelievingly at me. I have an attack of the giggles.

I finally end up writing

"slightly late thank you, thanks for your sms, seem to have my MDs and Friends mixed up. Hope it's not some godforsaken hour over there. Catch up when you're back!"

Since there was a difference of about 19 letters in between the MD's name and Friend's name, he must think I'm ultra-friendless.

May be good for job prospecting. *dry tone*

Listening to: Wrapped Around Your Finger - Tori and Bjork's remake of The Police

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Sexy never left, he was waiting for the right email

Recently, Steely-eyed met me up.

"You seen what Samantha posted on the thread recently?" he asked with a glint in his eyes.

"What?" I ask, munching on pasta.

"Go take a look. She said her usual stuff, blah blah...and then said that I was the sexiest manager in the world"

I proceed to choke on said pasta.

Sure enough, on the thread is her post blah blah blah....visit the branch here occasionally, still think Steely-eyed is sexier than the managers here.


So I spend the next lunch we have together bagging the crap out of him until my friend The Architect calls.

"Hey babe, having lunch with Steely-eyed. You remember him, my ex-boss?"

"SEXY ex-boss" he calmly smiles from across the table

Archi hears it and laughs. I shoot him my dragon lady stare

"sexy ex-boss he says," I repeat calmly into the phone as he smirks

"No lack of self confidence there!" Archi exclaims,

"Uh, none at all." I say, staring at Steely-eyed as he sits there mouthing "SEXY" at me.

I end the conversation fairly quickly before shooting him another glare as he looks just about set to start rapping "If sexy never left then why's everybody on my ca-a-a-a-aase" and paying for our lunch (my turn to shout, plus it was his birthday).

Which means that this is an official complaint letter to my dear friend "Samantha", who knows exactly who she is. LOOK AT THIS BEAST YOU HAVE CREATED. MAKE IT GO AWAY.

and by the way. drop him an email, you can't cock tease like that. It's cruel.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"

on the road.

Friday, June 22, 2007

coffee love

on a toilet wall in Brunswick St.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Home is where the heart is, and right now, home is on 5 different continents.

I spend days varying between thinking that this is a good thing, or that this is a bad thing.

Somedays, I think that no matter how many times friends leave, it never gets any better. Somedays, I think I'm a better person for it, and that at some level, I'm so used to it that anything can happen and I'll react a lot better to it than so many other people. Somedays, I think it makes me an emotional fucktard.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

you know you're an expat kid when...

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?" (And when you do, you get into an elaborate conversation that gets everyone confused
and/or makes you sound very spoiled.)


2. You flew before you could walk.

yes. and I don't remember it.

3. You have a passport, but no driver's license.

Well, I do. But I don't drive.

4. You think California is cold.

Maybe not.

5. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.


6. You run into someone you know at every airport.


7. Conversations with friends take place at 6:00 in the morning or 10:00 at night.


8. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.

uh, nah.

9. You can speak with authority about the quality of various international airlines.


10. You feel self conscious around all white people.

hmmm. sometimes?

11. You get offended when someone turns down an offer for food.

I've since learnt not to.

12. You live at school and go home for vacation.

I used to.

13. You know the true meaning of "football." (and in your mind can hear the shout, "GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")

uh huh.

14. You know that it truly is a small world.


15. You are used to being stared at.


16. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.


17. Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around.

Not anymore.

18. You've woken up in the middle of the night to watch the Superbowl on cable.


19. You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country.

nah. Singapore's too small for me not to know it. Although I nearly got killed by someone because I said Holland Village was in the North. erk. I base it around the CBD ok?

20. Your best friends are from 5 different countries.


21. You're spoiled. You know it. You're VERY spoiled.

I'm not. I never was, but everyone else was!

22. You ask your roommate when the cleaner is scheduled to come clean.

No, but I wish it alot!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

adventures on the high winds

After a week of crazy weather (keep in mind it's been raining ever since), the crate men's 2nd coming at Victoria Park are still holding up.

The last 2 of the original 4!

Thursday, May 31, 2007


The beginning of the rest of my life.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Jehan, a friend of a friend's, was featured in the business section of The Age recently and I've stumbled upon what I consider to be one of the best online products I've come across in a long time.

The premise is sound and doesn't actually encumber anything or in fact require you to go out of the way by any stretch of imagination. Also, he (and his co-geniuses) wins bonus brownie points from me because the charity I volunteer with is included in his "Give" list. AND on the cause that I'm working on! Go Jehan!

I forwarded it around the office today and even had a contractor (one of the best in Australia) tell me it's very good. So there you go Jehan, if you read this, you've been annointed.

He also hosts a radio show on SYN FM for you Melbournians out there, and was responsible for the "Eat It While It's Hot' music video doing the rounds on YouTube.

I'm going to be using Ripple as my search platform now. and click those ads a few times a day. Microsoft can afford it.

Listening to: Rufus Wainwright- Do I Disappoint You

Monday, May 28, 2007

It's all in the delivery

It is all in the delivery isn't it. Sometimes, all it takes is the perfect actor to bring a role to life. A certain intensity, a certain presence. Sometimes it takes a special person to bring a message to the masses. All the world's top academics could talk till the cows come home, but it's that one person with the drive and conviction and charisma to make the world sit up.

Imagine some of the greatest movie performances of all time, and try to imagine anyone else in that role. Sometimes, something that seems to inspiring and convincing seems insipid or even laughable when presented by someone else. Imagine if it was Derek Zoolander who had delivered the "I Have A Dream" speech instead of Martin Luther King.

And so it was, that I heard Ben Harper's version of Sexual Healing.

Don't get me wrong. I like Ben Harper. His She's Only Happy In The Sun is one of my favourite songs. His Excuse Me Mr. is songwriting gold. But his version of Sexual Healing freaked me out.

It was too earnest, too emotive, too...needy.

When Marvin Gaye sang the original version, it was basically a horny song. It was like Barry White's songs. Blatantly sexual with an energetic vibe and innately tongue in cheek almost, it's apparently what couples have been making love to in the last decade or two.

but that's exactly it. Because of it's very nature and delivery, it inspired lots of spoofs (Owen Wilson comes to mind as one of many) and kept that funny, blatantly horny but energetic vibe. I mean, when I hear it in the background, if I'm feeling silly, I do have a tendency to get up and over-enact the words with scrunched up eyes and lots of falsettos and balled up fists with angst-ridden emphasis.

Ben Harper on the other hand, has taken the total opposite tack. Sometimes it works (Tori Amos singing Stan, Basement Jaxx's Romeo in acoustic, Baz Lhurmann's treatment of The Police's Roxanne), sometimes it doesn't.

Has anyone heard the lyrics? Carried out with such insouciance by Mr. Gaye, it suddenly seems creepy stalker guy who lived down the hall and wrote bad poetry when sung by Ben Harper. It seems, needy...creepy.

Read some of the lyrics without prejudice and tell me it won't sound creepy if sung by some balladeer.

And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me

Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing
I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing

Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing is good for me
Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us

Sexual Healing, baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
And it's good for me and it's good to me
My baby ohhh
Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate
I can't wait for you to operate
When I get this feeling, I need Sexual Healing


Listening to: Propellerheads ft. Shirley Bassey - Just a Little Bit of History Repeating

Friday, May 25, 2007


I'll be streaming P10 if I can find a stream.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

While waiting for Mena Suvari to call me (No, she just looks like Ms Suvari) and trying to digest lunch (Monash Uni chicken risotto) and recover from my day off today which entailed 3 suburbs and a lot of dairy products (some weekends, I need weekdays to recover) I decided to try and make the longest, most pointless sentence ever. I was also trying to fit in the fact that I was supposed to play badminton tonight as well but came home due to unsuitable footwear.

Well, that, and checking out the much touted

(Click on link in subject header)

Have you tried clicking it? Try it. I mean other than the fact that you will apparently see the world's most attractive singles, you will also find that beautifulpeople only supports Internet Explorer 5.5 and above.

Apparently while there's an 80% rejection rate on the site and only the truly beautiful can turn up there as voted by other beautiful people, they won't even allow the accursed mac or firefox users to even access these visions of beauty.

given the mac ads that have come on lately... sure pc, permission given to view HAHAHAHAHA. Whoever designed the site needs to hire some interactive designers.

I think I'll just have to resort to perving on real soon as Mena calls to tell me where the hell I'm supposed to be.

Reading: Good Omens. and I am laughing my ass off.

In memory of the good times

Ahhh Nicky, here's to Friday afternoons, your so-gay blue sparkly cowboy hat and skateboarding on wooden floorboards down the office corridors. This song will always remind me of you, well, maybe you and DJ trying to open a bottle of pink champange in vain. Or you doing your extremely convincing gay impersonation. If you must know, The Nibbler ate your anatomically correct naughty cookie man. So much for me assuaging your last-week ball obsession. Have a good one mate.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I'm back.


am considering another move. you know me. can't stay in one place for too long.

Friday, March 30, 2007


For crying out loud. Dim Sims are about as Chinese as fortune cookies, mushu chicken, chop suey, fruit curry, Singapore noodles, Hong Kong noodles or beef laksa (which isn't Chinese to begin with).

Now get out of my face.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I like the shorts

How untrue. This thing's not very good.

well, maybe except that 2nd last sentence which may explain the crazed freaks.