Smitten: much like being bitten, but much less easy to cure
Smitten
Bitten
Wits and words fail me
And that is all.
*amused*
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
waiting...
I'm waiting for the washing machine and dryer to free up, kinda listening to L&O: Criminal Intent, and waiting for NCIS to start (because L&O's nearly done and there's no point watching the last 5 minutes now is there?)
Well, shopped like the blitz, ended up buying the black jumper and the shrug. Checked out my pimpin' jacket, decided I'll buy it tomorrow.
While on Chapel, which I haven't been down for a while, I watched the Prahran/Toorak mums mosey down the streets, buying organic produce and gourmet products at Prahran market, and generally shopping up a storm everywhere else.
A weird fashion I've noticed, is dog owners dressing like their dogs.
There was a Paris-Hilton wannabe, all of 13 maybe? Carrying a teacup chihuahua in her arm (not arms) on her head a leopard print bandeau, and a matching collar around the dog's neck. Behind her, another hippie-kaftan chick carrying another teacup chihuahua had some indian beadwork on her dog's collar.
2 black shi-tzus one larger than the other walked past. Both had a top-knot tied with a red ribbon. Cute?
Not so on a reed-thin 40-ish woman with bad skin that looks like she stayed up all night snorting coke, attached to the dogs with- you guessed it- matching red leashes.
Scary scary scary.
Limit the dressing alike thing to your significant others please.
Well, shopped like the blitz, ended up buying the black jumper and the shrug. Checked out my pimpin' jacket, decided I'll buy it tomorrow.
While on Chapel, which I haven't been down for a while, I watched the Prahran/Toorak mums mosey down the streets, buying organic produce and gourmet products at Prahran market, and generally shopping up a storm everywhere else.
A weird fashion I've noticed, is dog owners dressing like their dogs.
There was a Paris-Hilton wannabe, all of 13 maybe? Carrying a teacup chihuahua in her arm (not arms) on her head a leopard print bandeau, and a matching collar around the dog's neck. Behind her, another hippie-kaftan chick carrying another teacup chihuahua had some indian beadwork on her dog's collar.
2 black shi-tzus one larger than the other walked past. Both had a top-knot tied with a red ribbon. Cute?
Not so on a reed-thin 40-ish woman with bad skin that looks like she stayed up all night snorting coke, attached to the dogs with- you guessed it- matching red leashes.
Scary scary scary.
Limit the dressing alike thing to your significant others please.
shopping warfare
Being the usual shopping-ponderer I am, I sat on a gold-bronze-brown shrug for 2 days.
2 days.
and that's all the time it took to sell out.
I made the poor retail guy ring all these outlets, until we found 3 in Chapel. Then he told me that some Bridezilla was coming in to buy them for her bridesmaids.
The basic thoughts that ran through my head were:
Attack of the Bridezilla!
Who the hell makes their bridesmaids wear shawls during a wedding? Especially when they're BROWN?????????
Stupid cow. She's fucking cheap if she's getting THAT as a thank you present. It's like $50 a pop. For a wedding? I'd rather she do something NICE. Like give me a neck massage. Free, and more thoughful. Who wants to be a cookie-cutter bridesmaid anyway???
And after all that, the words that came out of my mouth were:
Put a hold on ONE. I'll collect it tomorrow.
At least her bridemaids will thank me for it.
2 days.
and that's all the time it took to sell out.
I made the poor retail guy ring all these outlets, until we found 3 in Chapel. Then he told me that some Bridezilla was coming in to buy them for her bridesmaids.
The basic thoughts that ran through my head were:
Attack of the Bridezilla!
Who the hell makes their bridesmaids wear shawls during a wedding? Especially when they're BROWN?????????
Stupid cow. She's fucking cheap if she's getting THAT as a thank you present. It's like $50 a pop. For a wedding? I'd rather she do something NICE. Like give me a neck massage. Free, and more thoughful. Who wants to be a cookie-cutter bridesmaid anyway???
And after all that, the words that came out of my mouth were:
Put a hold on ONE. I'll collect it tomorrow.
At least her bridemaids will thank me for it.
esprit's collection this season is TOO GOOD!
(also eyeing a white trench - too big!, a blue trench - haven't tried, and a black floppy necked sweater. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
NOT FROM ESPRIT
a PIMPIN' white (faux only please) fur jacket.
a skirt from cue
1 crisp white shirt from ink
1 unique tie skirt from ink.
lace v-neck wayne cooper ripoff from witchery.
and that valentine's day special corset from BNT.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
oh paris how dumb can you get
the reason why no one's gonna get into trouble:
Security Question at T-mobile:
Name your favourite pet
errrrrrrrrrrrr. well I guess those 7337 -4ck3145 aren't as 733T as we thought they were.
Ingenious yes. Full marks dude. Full marks for being that bored as well.
Who knew Paris would know Fiona Apple????? eeeeek.
and galpals with a certain Lohan???? I used to like the girl.
gerri gerri gerri, you wonder why Paris didn't get through high school.
WATCHED: Constantine. Yay!
Security Question at T-mobile:
Name your favourite pet
errrrrrrrrrrrr. well I guess those 7337 -4ck3145 aren't as 733T as we thought they were.
Ingenious yes. Full marks dude. Full marks for being that bored as well.
Who knew Paris would know Fiona Apple????? eeeeek.
and galpals with a certain Lohan???? I used to like the girl.
gerri gerri gerri, you wonder why Paris didn't get through high school.
WATCHED: Constantine. Yay!
chris choi's done it again
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=chrischoi&tab=weblogs&uid=211489034
yep.
between CaKaLuSa, Saturnalia and Chris I swear I have the insights into the male mind ALMOST down.
yep.
between CaKaLuSa, Saturnalia and Chris I swear I have the insights into the male mind ALMOST down.
Friday, February 25, 2005
love, or something like it
I sometimes think I'm asexual because people rarely catch my interest. My friends are checking out all the cute boys, and by the time I go 'whowhatwhere????' they've walked past and unless I do some serious rubbernecking I can't see.
Besides, they're usually not up to my standards anyway.
That may sounds bitchy and contrite and arrogant, but I never said my standards were high. I actually like weird men. And again, I seldom find someone I think is attractive. Even if I myself am not attracted to them. Think Johnny Depp. Tim Burton. Angelina Jolie.
When I do fall however, it's usually with someone who isn't fitting in the prototype. It's someone weird, yes. Someone extremely intelligent, definitely. But everything else seems bendable.
And when I do fall, I often equate it to being drunk.
You're fine one moment, and the next you wake up and find yourself at the bottom of some hill and you have no idea how you got there.
I had this conversation with SweetiePie once, and she said she was the same- and she even thought she was lesbian because no one interested her. And when she did, it was whoooosh, allatonceandthatwasit.
It's nice to know there are people out there like me.
Especially since recently, I seem to have woken up at the bottom of the hill, in a field, surrounded by white butterflies and forget-me-nots and I can't seem to figure out how I got here in the first place.
listening to: Oui Va Voi - Landino Song
Besides, they're usually not up to my standards anyway.
That may sounds bitchy and contrite and arrogant, but I never said my standards were high. I actually like weird men. And again, I seldom find someone I think is attractive. Even if I myself am not attracted to them. Think Johnny Depp. Tim Burton. Angelina Jolie.
When I do fall however, it's usually with someone who isn't fitting in the prototype. It's someone weird, yes. Someone extremely intelligent, definitely. But everything else seems bendable.
And when I do fall, I often equate it to being drunk.
You're fine one moment, and the next you wake up and find yourself at the bottom of some hill and you have no idea how you got there.
I had this conversation with SweetiePie once, and she said she was the same- and she even thought she was lesbian because no one interested her. And when she did, it was whoooosh, allatonceandthatwasit.
It's nice to know there are people out there like me.
Especially since recently, I seem to have woken up at the bottom of the hill, in a field, surrounded by white butterflies and forget-me-nots and I can't seem to figure out how I got here in the first place.
listening to: Oui Va Voi - Landino Song
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
horoscopes
I'm not one for believing in this shit, especially since you can fill in the blanks and/or make things happen...but so far, so accurate. scarily so. Interesting.
http://astrosurf.ninemsn.com.au/astrosurf/
http://astrosurf.ninemsn.com.au/astrosurf/
Monday, February 21, 2005
bride & prejudice
I have to say, as adaptations go, this one is singular in staying true the text while managing to fit in the cliches of its adapted genre so well. Cruel Intentions tried but failed, as did Great Expectations, and the Midsummer Night's Dream turned out pretty kooky to me...the only one that was ok seemed to be Baz's R+J and that's NOT adapting per se, and Clueless, which was more of a loose adaptation, kinda like Moulin Rouge and Orpheus.
Despite about 4 people bailing on me, I was determined to watch it- alone if I had to - especially since I regard Nova as my sort-of loungeroom anyway, and I rather like watching movies alone there.
SweetiePie turned up in the end, and we ended up laughing so hard both of us literally nearly fell off our chairs and might as well have, since we ended up rolling in our seats instead.
Aishwarya Rai was beautiful as ever, although Sweetie and I remarked that she was a little fat. Sleepy later told me that she purposely put on 20lbs for the role because middle-class Punjabi girls don't generally come in such small sizes.
I can hear Punjabi girls around the world screeching through their computers already. But apparently the imdb boards have been afire about her alleged double chins. Something about her 'looking skinny' in the movie, and 'anorexic' normally. Oh the joys of being in India. I'd be "skinny". WHOA.
I really liked the fact that it was a Bollywood movie making fun of itself. It was even cheesier than usual, and the songs were soooooo bad in English that I was just rolling around.
And when the dramatic "Girl and Boy Have Fight. Will The Twain Ever Meet?" breakup scene happened, and the music started up, it was soooo obviously Bollywood that Sweetie just collapsed.
I guess this would be just sadly cheesy-funny if you'd never seen a Bollywood movie before, but if you had, this would really have you rolling in the aisles.
For hopeless hilarity and crazy pop culture references while staying true to Jane Austen I'm giving this 7/10. (Pity there was no 17th century equivalent of a male wet t-shirt scene though)
Despite about 4 people bailing on me, I was determined to watch it- alone if I had to - especially since I regard Nova as my sort-of loungeroom anyway, and I rather like watching movies alone there.
SweetiePie turned up in the end, and we ended up laughing so hard both of us literally nearly fell off our chairs and might as well have, since we ended up rolling in our seats instead.
Aishwarya Rai was beautiful as ever, although Sweetie and I remarked that she was a little fat. Sleepy later told me that she purposely put on 20lbs for the role because middle-class Punjabi girls don't generally come in such small sizes.
I can hear Punjabi girls around the world screeching through their computers already. But apparently the imdb boards have been afire about her alleged double chins. Something about her 'looking skinny' in the movie, and 'anorexic' normally. Oh the joys of being in India. I'd be "skinny". WHOA.
I really liked the fact that it was a Bollywood movie making fun of itself. It was even cheesier than usual, and the songs were soooooo bad in English that I was just rolling around.
And when the dramatic "Girl and Boy Have Fight. Will The Twain Ever Meet?" breakup scene happened, and the music started up, it was soooo obviously Bollywood that Sweetie just collapsed.
I guess this would be just sadly cheesy-funny if you'd never seen a Bollywood movie before, but if you had, this would really have you rolling in the aisles.
For hopeless hilarity and crazy pop culture references while staying true to Jane Austen I'm giving this 7/10. (Pity there was no 17th century equivalent of a male wet t-shirt scene though)
Saturday, February 19, 2005
be still my beating heart
honestly. why do people have to fall in like, or love?
why can't we all just dissolve into blatant lust and just fuck like bunnies. Or whatever other animals we choose to compare ourselves to.
why is it seemingly compulsory for humans to have to fall in like, be attracted to personality, or looks, whichever rocks your boat? Oh that's right. Because we're sentient beings and fucking (or making luuuuurve) has consequences. Like kids and marriage and careers that implode. We have broken hearts that just won'tfrikkingmend and pride that we need to save and rumours to deal with tomorrow.
It's alllllllllllllllll about biology. Blame biology when all else fails.
Listening to: Tricky - Ponderosa
why can't we all just dissolve into blatant lust and just fuck like bunnies. Or whatever other animals we choose to compare ourselves to.
why is it seemingly compulsory for humans to have to fall in like, be attracted to personality, or looks, whichever rocks your boat? Oh that's right. Because we're sentient beings and fucking (or making luuuuurve) has consequences. Like kids and marriage and careers that implode. We have broken hearts that just won'tfrikkingmend and pride that we need to save and rumours to deal with tomorrow.
It's alllllllllllllllll about biology. Blame biology when all else fails.
Listening to: Tricky - Ponderosa
Friday, February 18, 2005
I can smell the sea coming through my window
I know. It's weird. Especially when you consider I live in the inner city. BUT I SWEAR I smell the salt and the seaweed coming through the highest floor windows.
Or maybe my olfactory senses are all just screwed up because well honestly, I can't really smell everything just yet because I'm only just recovering from my cold.
you know, like how some scientist claims he has discovered KFC's secret recipe using a completely different array of shit. Bizzare concoctions...Like mangoes combined with almond and shit like that. *weirded out*
maybe the smell of rotting bodies from the graveyard, when combined with petrol fumes and carbon monoxide, filtered through a blocked nose produces the smell of the sea.
Maybe.
Or maybe my olfactory senses are all just screwed up because well honestly, I can't really smell everything just yet because I'm only just recovering from my cold.
you know, like how some scientist claims he has discovered KFC's secret recipe using a completely different array of shit. Bizzare concoctions...Like mangoes combined with almond and shit like that. *weirded out*
maybe the smell of rotting bodies from the graveyard, when combined with petrol fumes and carbon monoxide, filtered through a blocked nose produces the smell of the sea.
Maybe.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
sex according to my boss
My boss is a funny funny man.
One of the managers came in from the bank drooling like she'd lost her front teeth.
"Oh. My. God." she yells
"There's the cutest Asian guy down at our bank!"
My boss starts smiling.
"He's tall, he Asian, he's CUTE, and he speaks perfect English!"
my boss is trying not to lose a grip on the coffee jug he's holding.
My manager's statement may sound weird considering we are in Asutralia, until you realise we bank in Chinatown....and she's also 176cm tall.
He bends down (because I'm a midget) and quietly says
"you know, guys don't mind being objectified. Unlike women. In fact, we quite like it."
He almost breaks out into a laugh.
I'm trying not to drop the desserts I'm hanging onto.
He's a funny funny man.
One of the managers came in from the bank drooling like she'd lost her front teeth.
"Oh. My. God." she yells
"There's the cutest Asian guy down at our bank!"
My boss starts smiling.
"He's tall, he Asian, he's CUTE, and he speaks perfect English!"
my boss is trying not to lose a grip on the coffee jug he's holding.
My manager's statement may sound weird considering we are in Asutralia, until you realise we bank in Chinatown....and she's also 176cm tall.
He bends down (because I'm a midget) and quietly says
"you know, guys don't mind being objectified. Unlike women. In fact, we quite like it."
He almost breaks out into a laugh.
I'm trying not to drop the desserts I'm hanging onto.
He's a funny funny man.
Monday, February 14, 2005
happy overpriced flowers day
I just realised that this is the first Valentines that I've spent truly alone.
By this I mean that I'm not even going out (or staying in) with friends and having a good time.
This is good considering I'm sick and I don't want to pass anyone the cold. However, it's a rather strange feeling to have when you think:
timecheck, 10.35pm. X be on a balcony having tapas, everyone else seems to be having a nice candlelit home cooked meal...and moving steadily on to dessert. And we all know what dessert entails.
Instead, I'm curled up in front of the computer writing this while battling with that 40tonne rock that's landed in my head. can't sleep. not yet. slept too much all day as is. Can't sleep. can't sleep. can't sleep.
Anyway, instead of boring you with shit like this, perhaps I should wax lyrical about love and all that other mushy stuff shouldn't I.
http://www.tomatoalligator.com/
Ha. As if.
By this I mean that I'm not even going out (or staying in) with friends and having a good time.
This is good considering I'm sick and I don't want to pass anyone the cold. However, it's a rather strange feeling to have when you think:
timecheck, 10.35pm. X be on a balcony having tapas, everyone else seems to be having a nice candlelit home cooked meal...and moving steadily on to dessert. And we all know what dessert entails.
Instead, I'm curled up in front of the computer writing this while battling with that 40tonne rock that's landed in my head. can't sleep. not yet. slept too much all day as is. Can't sleep. can't sleep. can't sleep.
Anyway, instead of boring you with shit like this, perhaps I should wax lyrical about love and all that other mushy stuff shouldn't I.
http://www.tomatoalligator.com/
Ha. As if.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
stupid of the week and why am I not fat?
I'm beginning to think I should just hand an award for rudest customer of the week every week, especially since they think they're being so witty and smart and superior when in actual fact their jokes/snide remarks/witty reveations/postulations are just plain STUPID.
This one's for the frightened lady. Oh yes.
As I hand a latte over to the customer, his wife says
'gee, sure looks like it's had a fright'
All I hear, of course, is mumblemumblemumble FRIGHT
which gives me a fright, because the last thing I want to do is scare a customer right? I mean, I know I frighten small children and animals, but to scare a grown adult is taking it to whole new levels.
So I inquire:
"I'm sorry ma'am? Did I scare you?"
to which she curls her lip into a sneer before pointing one perfectly french manicured finger daintily at my equally dainty latte glass
"NO." she says imperiously
"I said, it looks like the latte had a fright."
When I stare at her in disbelief and incomprehension she continues like I'm stupid
"It looks a little pale"
her husband is doing his best impression of foetal position in a backless chair, and giving me apologetic looks, waving his hands around and saying "nevermind" in soft tones.
While imagination is all very important, making sure people actually get your sarcasm is even more so. If the mere plebians are unable to absorb the import of what you told them, then you're just going to get more frustrated, and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we?
the second crazy has to be a woman who came in and stared at my extremely manager. And stared, and stared, and stared. She stares around the store, and my manager approaches her.
"Excuse me ma'am, is there anything I can help you with?"
The woman stares at her, blinks, stares some more and finally spits out,
"None of you are fat." in an accusatory tone.
Needless to say my manager was trying her best not to burst out laughing.
When the rest of the staff heard about this after work, we all cracked up.
"Ma'am, this just proves the slimming powers of black!"
I'm the first to pipe up.
"Ma'am it's the benefit of wearing a shapeless ankle length apron!"
Says another.
Yeah. well, we aren't obese. but I wouldn't call any of us slim either.
Valentines post coming up.
This one's for the frightened lady. Oh yes.
As I hand a latte over to the customer, his wife says
'gee, sure looks like it's had a fright'
All I hear, of course, is mumblemumblemumble FRIGHT
which gives me a fright, because the last thing I want to do is scare a customer right? I mean, I know I frighten small children and animals, but to scare a grown adult is taking it to whole new levels.
So I inquire:
"I'm sorry ma'am? Did I scare you?"
to which she curls her lip into a sneer before pointing one perfectly french manicured finger daintily at my equally dainty latte glass
"NO." she says imperiously
"I said, it looks like the latte had a fright."
When I stare at her in disbelief and incomprehension she continues like I'm stupid
"It looks a little pale"
her husband is doing his best impression of foetal position in a backless chair, and giving me apologetic looks, waving his hands around and saying "nevermind" in soft tones.
While imagination is all very important, making sure people actually get your sarcasm is even more so. If the mere plebians are unable to absorb the import of what you told them, then you're just going to get more frustrated, and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we?
the second crazy has to be a woman who came in and stared at my extremely manager. And stared, and stared, and stared. She stares around the store, and my manager approaches her.
"Excuse me ma'am, is there anything I can help you with?"
The woman stares at her, blinks, stares some more and finally spits out,
"None of you are fat." in an accusatory tone.
Needless to say my manager was trying her best not to burst out laughing.
When the rest of the staff heard about this after work, we all cracked up.
"Ma'am, this just proves the slimming powers of black!"
I'm the first to pipe up.
"Ma'am it's the benefit of wearing a shapeless ankle length apron!"
Says another.
Yeah. well, we aren't obese. but I wouldn't call any of us slim either.
Valentines post coming up.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
hot chicks, miracle chicks and chicken fillets (with pictures!)
***WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST***
how apt considering this is the year of the rooster that I have a post about nothing but poultry.
well, and the occasional fowl. I had a severe craving for yam duck the other day when I was having the worst period I've had in months and I was basically deliriously ranting and raving non-stop for hours. I want yam duck, these cramps suck, I'm feeling frisky and sick at the same time, keep me company, I miss shark's fin soup and fungus, I want to re-read the vagina monologues....blah blah blah blah...
so I practically dragged gerri there by the hair last night, and she had a craving for crab, so as you can imagine, we had a rather expensive dinner. And as usual, people on the other tables were staring at these two pint-sized girls stuffing themselves with an entire boneless duck stuffed with yam and an entire crab on top of noodles.
Yeah. We sure can eat. Especially when one hasn't eaten in 24 hours and the other is having an Attack of the Menstruating Woman.
After that, we decided to go for coffee (gerri's shout) although we ended up with an Ice Reisling and a dessert Sauvignion Blanc instead. Don't even think about asking.
This was before Act-Cool started flooding my phone with panicked phonecalls. Apparently Act-Cool and Punkster had decided to buy SlaveBoy 3 chicks for his birthday.
Yeah. Chicks. As in baby chickens.
And Act-Cool being the consumate budding architect he was had decided to build a playpen of sorts for the chicks. However, he was working on the assumption that chicks didn't know how to fly. So when one flew out of the box, and attempted suicide by rolling off the balcony and down 6 floors onto hard, tiled concrete below he was distraught.
and of course, I had to frighten everyone by threatening to cry (I *never* cry. Even my "screams" come out as squaks)
IT WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It looked fine. No broken leg, no wing damage, no blood nothing.
after phonecalls to seriously unhelpful helplines (chickens? take it to a vet) we called HotWaterBottle all the way down to help us out and drive us to the animal hospital.
SCENE AT THE HOSPITAL:
Reception Dude: sex of the chick?
us: female
dude circles sex unknown, STRAY
US: FEMALE!!!!!!
Dude: well leave it here, we'll take alook at it
ActCool: Aren't you going to ask us for our phone number?
Dude gives us this look, like we're asking for him to save our pet earthworm
dude: well I suppose. Although I have to tell you that chicks will not be operated on like cats and dogs, they're considered wildlife, not pets...and we can only put it overnight for observation in the cattery
In our heads: NOT PETS???? CATTERY!!!!!!
so we took the chick home again.
Called Butterball back because he'd called somewhere in the middle of the drama, and he made the appropriate sympathetic noises...how he once had chickens back home, chickens are tough, chicks are too light to be severely hurt, if it's not coughing up blood it'll be fine, if it survives the night it'll be fine....while I was squealing into the phone "BUT IT FELL SIX FRIKKING FLOORS!!!!!!!!"
The poor boy.
When SlaveBoy saw his present and heard we wanted him to name them all in Japanese he immediately pointed to the visible chicks, and said
"Mangku, Chimpu" (translation: Vagina, Penis)
We stared at him.
"I want this one to be named Lucky, in Japanese" I said, one hand still curled protectively over the very very lucky chick.
"Ok!" he said, then peered inside the box at the third chick.
"That one can be Mangku"
___________________________________________________________________
Gerri, ChinaDoll and I somehow ended up underwear shopping, and since Valentines is coming up there's a whole host of delicious undies on sale at BNT so we kinda went a little nuts in there. Except nothing's in my size. If you see the bodice on the front page of BNT, well, NOT IN MY SIZE!!!!
So everyone else went a little nuts in there.
We ended up upstairs in the Hanky Panky section, and found what Aussies refer to as chicken fillets, The Nude Bra. Don't try this at home kids, but not only does it have the same consistency, colour and feel as a chicken fillet, if you slap it on the table (sans human breasts attached) it actually sounds like a chicken fillet as well.
While the Nude Bra is meant to be just a nude bra, Bree from Big Brother has turned into a push up so it now serves dual purpose and is very very popular indeed.
__________________________________________________________________
and of course. pics of hot chicks.
It's actually just pics of Chinese New Year reunion dinner. (incomplete)
suckers.
(although these are my 1st since Nov '04)
EDIT: seems my IE keeps hanging every time I try to upload. You'll have to wait.
listening to: Smashing Pumpkins- 1979
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
oh the smell of gunpowder
DONGDONGDONGCHIANG!!!!!!!
My head is still reeling from the smell of gunpowder permeating Chinatown from the firecrackers being set off (or perhaps it's the sound of the firecrackers and the lion dancers). Whatever it is, my head now hurts.
the party last night was fun as, or at least I thought it was...and as Gerri says, we think it's a success because people were actually mingling. Yay!
Apparently people mistook my "no black" policy to mean absolutely no black. They forget that Chinese have all these side clauses:
My head is still reeling from the smell of gunpowder permeating Chinatown from the firecrackers being set off (or perhaps it's the sound of the firecrackers and the lion dancers). Whatever it is, my head now hurts.
the party last night was fun as, or at least I thought it was...and as Gerri says, we think it's a success because people were actually mingling. Yay!
Apparently people mistook my "no black" policy to mean absolutely no black. They forget that Chinese have all these side clauses:
- Black is negated by a combination of a good proportion of red.
- Black as detailing on clothes is absolutely fiiiiine
Anyway, Gerri spent 3 hours preparing the yu sang despite my help - grating is a bitch when all you have is a tiny grater.
I guess the one thing everyone had in common was (as a certain Hooligan pointed out) extreme intelligence.
"Gerri doesn't make friends with dumb people." Kus and I roll our eyes.
Hooligan pipes up "But I can so understand that. You need to be able to communicate on the same wavelength"
I acknowledge the fact, but also acknowledge the fact that everyone there is a freak of nature.
- 3 kids who skipped 2 grades in school (freaks!)
- 2 PhD students who skipped the whole Masters kafuffle (and they're under 25)
- 5 Masters students, 2 postgrad dips, one law student, one melb uni mediacomm dean's list student, one pre-vet.
- 1 Singapore Gifted Education Programme student
- 2 Architects, 1 Doc, 2 chartered accountants
- 5 Mensans (!!!!!!!)
Anomalie should have been there. There'd have been 2 GEP students.
Also amusing was the disproportionate amount of (aforementioned) gay men....who were all sizing Butterball and StoryGuy up.
"Are they straight? Are they single?"
the questions were asked right in their presence, IN MANDARIN.
They soon divided into 2 camps. The camp who thought Butterball was cuter, and the camp who thought StoryGuy was cuter. Philosophical discussions soon ensued. VERY AMUSING.
And with that much brainpower going around, the conversation was fun as! Finance, China's policies, The Asian economy, Japanese porn (which led to a side discussion of liberal colleges, whether Art/Pornography/Blasphemy/Propoganda can really be called a legitimate subject and whether Melbourne University can be considered liberal in the Thomas Jefferson sense), Orientalism, Australian politics, philosophy...it was facinating as and I realise I really need to learn more about finance and China's policies. (non-textbook-wise) and I also need to re-read Edward Said.
Badly.
BRAIN! I NEED MORE BRAINS!!!!!!
maybe I should seriously consider going dark haired again.
But I look crap! *vain*
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
gong xi fa cai
we're doing some sort of Chinese New Year thing over here being new year's eve and all...and since we're in Aussie, we're assimilating.
We're having a BBQ. HAHAHAHAHA. As if Gerri and I aren't assimilated enough.
We are also having yu sang though and apparently it's only a Singapore thing. In-teresting.
and me? well, being the peranakans gerri and I are, we're doing fusion. I've got the ikan bakar. I believe she's got the kueh-kueh covered. My nails are stained with tumeric. This sucks.
Over 8 gay men and about 5 straight guys and 3 straight girls. PhD's girl has never met a homosexual in her life before and is petrified. PhD and I are suitably amused.
StoryGuy is homophobic but is coming to see what all the fuss of "chinese thanksgiving" is all about. (it's my fault - that's the best analogy I could come up with, besides demanding that wearing black would entitle him to being unceremoniously kicked out)
This is going to be one in-teresting night.
NB: In-teresting is meant to be pronounced the way it's spelt. Emphasis on "IN" as in Mr. Burns-style IN-teresting.
P/S No I haven't gotten rid of my fear of dead fish, my love for food just far outweighs my fear of dead fish. I cover the fish face with alo foil and slice, baste and grill away.
We're having a BBQ. HAHAHAHAHA. As if Gerri and I aren't assimilated enough.
We are also having yu sang though and apparently it's only a Singapore thing. In-teresting.
and me? well, being the peranakans gerri and I are, we're doing fusion. I've got the ikan bakar. I believe she's got the kueh-kueh covered. My nails are stained with tumeric. This sucks.
Over 8 gay men and about 5 straight guys and 3 straight girls. PhD's girl has never met a homosexual in her life before and is petrified. PhD and I are suitably amused.
StoryGuy is homophobic but is coming to see what all the fuss of "chinese thanksgiving" is all about. (it's my fault - that's the best analogy I could come up with, besides demanding that wearing black would entitle him to being unceremoniously kicked out)
This is going to be one in-teresting night.
NB: In-teresting is meant to be pronounced the way it's spelt. Emphasis on "IN" as in Mr. Burns-style IN-teresting.
P/S No I haven't gotten rid of my fear of dead fish, my love for food just far outweighs my fear of dead fish. I cover the fish face with alo foil and slice, baste and grill away.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
nonsense and yummy men
I swear if Mr. Act-Cool wasn't gay, I'd have the hugest full-blown crush on him ever. But as it is, I don't. Sorry AC. Besides, I like to think that I'm borderline asexual.
He's my kinda good-looking, (he's even got eyes that slant slightly upwards!) he's extremely intelligent, he likes the kinda books I read, I can talk to him, he's not quiet, he's opinionated, he walks me to the tram stop (whoa) and he feels me up in front of my colleagues. (and his husband)
He's also had an aussie high-school education (like me) and he's in archi, likes photography, food, travel and dogs.
but of course in the real world, we all know that this kind of guy would also have a huge ego, and be totally totally majorly taken by someone taller, skinner, prettier, bitchier, better, smarter, richer, bling-er..... with a waiting list over 10 people long with you right. at. the. bottom.
and it's always never a good idea to fall for someone like that.
Then again, if a straight guy tried to feel me up in public I'd slap him. Unless I found him hot, and I was in a very very very cavernous dark corner of some club where everyone else is too busy trying to get it on with someone else. A very dark corner indeed.
oh. and I saw a to die for deep cherry red dress in Third Millenium that had me drooling. I also saw sexy undies at BNT.
Must practice restraint if I want to travel in June.
He's my kinda good-looking, (he's even got eyes that slant slightly upwards!) he's extremely intelligent, he likes the kinda books I read, I can talk to him, he's not quiet, he's opinionated, he walks me to the tram stop (whoa) and he feels me up in front of my colleagues. (and his husband)
He's also had an aussie high-school education (like me) and he's in archi, likes photography, food, travel and dogs.
but of course in the real world, we all know that this kind of guy would also have a huge ego, and be totally totally majorly taken by someone taller, skinner, prettier, bitchier, better, smarter, richer, bling-er..... with a waiting list over 10 people long with you right. at. the. bottom.
and it's always never a good idea to fall for someone like that.
Then again, if a straight guy tried to feel me up in public I'd slap him. Unless I found him hot, and I was in a very very very cavernous dark corner of some club where everyone else is too busy trying to get it on with someone else. A very dark corner indeed.
oh. and I saw a to die for deep cherry red dress in Third Millenium that had me drooling. I also saw sexy undies at BNT.
Must practice restraint if I want to travel in June.
Friday, February 04, 2005
rant of the non-feminist
I've made this assertion many many times, but I'd still like to clarify that I'd hardly call myself a feminist.
That said, this recently struck me.
Why is it that when a high-profile relationships and marriages break up it's always the woman's fault?
Even in the case of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman where Tom was seen as the guilty party (and even then it didn't hurt his star power), Penelope Cruz still has a bad rep.
Recently, the Brad-Jen breakup has everyone talking.
However, the cover of a tabloid caught my eye today
Under Angelina Jolie's face was emblazoned the bright red bold text
"Every woman's worst nightmare"
Other than accusing of my darling Angelina of being the guilty party, other mags have focussed on Jen's "new guy" who probably isn't -while other mags say Brad and Jen are "dating....each other".
The furore is incessant.
However, they're pretty consistent on this. Brad hasn't copped any flack at all. Jen's been accused of being the "bad wife" because (another headline) she's "shattered his adoption dreams"AND "doesn't want to get pregnant" while working on her career.
Oh GEE. why don't you turn it around?
Brad has been
"imposing on Jen to give birth to babies" and "forcing her to adopt"
WHY NOT??????
alright let's tackle Angelina. Other than the fact that I am personally affronted because I consider her the sexiest person, male or female, walking this earth and well, if guys are falling like flies then she just can't help it right? *bimbotic imperious hand wave*
but seriously, that headline was a bit much. Every woman's worst nightmare? Are you sure it's not (almost) every woman's wet dream?
Even if she's a man eater, why not vilify Penelope the same way?
Well, actually, they did.
Or how about Delta Goodrem and her new Brian Westlife story. The only reason why she isn't bigger news is because she's got cancer and er....she deserves pity. (please note that I'm not being insensitive here - I have many friends and family who have died of or who are suffering from cancer. I just don't believe that having cancer absolves you from blame)
However Mr Brian gets NO FLACK.
Or how about Posh and Becks. It's all Posh's fault for leaving her man alone in Madrid because she doesn't like the food?????
GAH GAH GAH
That said, this recently struck me.
Why is it that when a high-profile relationships and marriages break up it's always the woman's fault?
Even in the case of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman where Tom was seen as the guilty party (and even then it didn't hurt his star power), Penelope Cruz still has a bad rep.
Recently, the Brad-Jen breakup has everyone talking.
However, the cover of a tabloid caught my eye today
Under Angelina Jolie's face was emblazoned the bright red bold text
"Every woman's worst nightmare"
Other than accusing of my darling Angelina of being the guilty party, other mags have focussed on Jen's "new guy" who probably isn't -while other mags say Brad and Jen are "dating....each other".
The furore is incessant.
However, they're pretty consistent on this. Brad hasn't copped any flack at all. Jen's been accused of being the "bad wife" because (another headline) she's "shattered his adoption dreams"AND "doesn't want to get pregnant" while working on her career.
Oh GEE. why don't you turn it around?
Brad has been
"imposing on Jen to give birth to babies" and "forcing her to adopt"
WHY NOT??????
alright let's tackle Angelina. Other than the fact that I am personally affronted because I consider her the sexiest person, male or female, walking this earth and well, if guys are falling like flies then she just can't help it right? *bimbotic imperious hand wave*
but seriously, that headline was a bit much. Every woman's worst nightmare? Are you sure it's not (almost) every woman's wet dream?
Even if she's a man eater, why not vilify Penelope the same way?
Well, actually, they did.
Or how about Delta Goodrem and her new Brian Westlife story. The only reason why she isn't bigger news is because she's got cancer and er....she deserves pity. (please note that I'm not being insensitive here - I have many friends and family who have died of or who are suffering from cancer. I just don't believe that having cancer absolves you from blame)
However Mr Brian gets NO FLACK.
Or how about Posh and Becks. It's all Posh's fault for leaving her man alone in Madrid because she doesn't like the food?????
GAH GAH GAH
Thursday, February 03, 2005
chamber of fear
ok. I'm late into this conversation. I know. I knew of the controversy. I saw the pillar-wrap in Tangs in Singapore.
I saw the "Hype" component last night in a English pub of all things.
So anyway, I started reading into it today. and well, while I thought the Nippon Paint was a little OTT, this one is almost valid. Although if you read the forums not many people have much of a clue about Chinese culture.
First they say Le Bron's ethnicity has not been discussed. That especially because he's black, and Chinese look down on blacks, white bastketballers might have gotten away with it.
ALL RIGHT. where do I even start.
Chinese people are xenophobic in general. I don't mean The People Of China only, I mean Chinese the race in general. my parent's marriage was 'unconventional' because they married out of their dialect groups. In fact, my mum isn't "real" Chinese. and due to more than a few complications, likes to insist black and blue that she is in fact, a "pure" Chinese descending from the heralded state of Swatow (where the most becautiful girls come from). But that's another story altogether.
In Singapore, this doesn't matter at all though.
And not to put the Chinese down, almost every race is like that. Especially the Asian races. Vietnamese, Hmong, Cambodian, Indonesian, Indian, Japanese, Korean, whatever. my Viet friend's father wouldn't talk to her for 2months because her boyfriend is Lebanese.
The stories abound.
My mother's last words to me as she left me alone in Australia at the age of 15 weren't "take care" or "be good" - they were "don't come home with an ang moh (white) boyfriend"
They're still doing some sort of reverse-blackmail on me.
"Your father is convinced you're going to marry a white man"
"You're so aussiefied. You're going to come home with a white husband"
I'm so tempted to tell them that the last Aussie I dated converted to Indian Buddhism, flew to Cambodia to volunteer there and is considering opening a functional co-op in Australia...oh and he's vegetarian.
Communist, Buddhist AND Vegetarian! He's more Asian than I bloody am!
Cantonese get away with calling white people gweilo. Of course, the word (I suspect) has long since lost its derogatory connotation.
But to say that IF a white person had shot the same ad the furore wouldn't have sparked is a ridiculous proposition and oversight.
Then there's someone who says that any ad featuring Le Bron whacking an old man is bound to recieve controversy.
Thing is, it's not the age issue here. Although a huge thing in Chinese culture, martial arts masters rely on juuuuuuuust a liiiiiiitle bit more than old age to get them through life. Honestly. They are accorded respect for being masters, not for being old men. sheesh.
and then "the black obsession with Chinese culture". It's been a well documented fact that minorities in every culture form a sense of solidarity. why not ask what the Aussie and American Asian fetish is with hip-hop clubbing at the moment? Or why do Mats in Singapore like to pretend they're black (and say the oddest things that real ghetto-fly people don't say)?
It's also called multicultuaralism. Sorry to burst your little vaccum bubble whoever you are, but there is Eminem, The Crown Princess of Denmark, Kelly Hu, Michelle Reis and Tyson Beckford. Your last Kanji character fad was laughable, you want the global-ethnic clothes but don't want the culture?
Sausser and Kant and various philosophers and linguists may all tell you that language contains markers of culture, and that knowing the language makes you more aware of the way people in that culture think, but I'm telling you that taking anything from any culture someone causes a little bit to seep into you. even if it's just a feeling that you're on a tropical beach.
So you xenophobes out there are all tainted. yes you are. Unless you're like Pauline Hanson's ex-2nd man.
I saw the "Hype" component last night in a English pub of all things.
So anyway, I started reading into it today. and well, while I thought the Nippon Paint was a little OTT, this one is almost valid. Although if you read the forums not many people have much of a clue about Chinese culture.
First they say Le Bron's ethnicity has not been discussed. That especially because he's black, and Chinese look down on blacks, white bastketballers might have gotten away with it.
ALL RIGHT. where do I even start.
Chinese people are xenophobic in general. I don't mean The People Of China only, I mean Chinese the race in general. my parent's marriage was 'unconventional' because they married out of their dialect groups. In fact, my mum isn't "real" Chinese. and due to more than a few complications, likes to insist black and blue that she is in fact, a "pure" Chinese descending from the heralded state of Swatow (where the most becautiful girls come from). But that's another story altogether.
In Singapore, this doesn't matter at all though.
And not to put the Chinese down, almost every race is like that. Especially the Asian races. Vietnamese, Hmong, Cambodian, Indonesian, Indian, Japanese, Korean, whatever. my Viet friend's father wouldn't talk to her for 2months because her boyfriend is Lebanese.
The stories abound.
My mother's last words to me as she left me alone in Australia at the age of 15 weren't "take care" or "be good" - they were "don't come home with an ang moh (white) boyfriend"
They're still doing some sort of reverse-blackmail on me.
"Your father is convinced you're going to marry a white man"
"You're so aussiefied. You're going to come home with a white husband"
I'm so tempted to tell them that the last Aussie I dated converted to Indian Buddhism, flew to Cambodia to volunteer there and is considering opening a functional co-op in Australia...oh and he's vegetarian.
Communist, Buddhist AND Vegetarian! He's more Asian than I bloody am!
Cantonese get away with calling white people gweilo. Of course, the word (I suspect) has long since lost its derogatory connotation.
But to say that IF a white person had shot the same ad the furore wouldn't have sparked is a ridiculous proposition and oversight.
Then there's someone who says that any ad featuring Le Bron whacking an old man is bound to recieve controversy.
Thing is, it's not the age issue here. Although a huge thing in Chinese culture, martial arts masters rely on juuuuuuuust a liiiiiiitle bit more than old age to get them through life. Honestly. They are accorded respect for being masters, not for being old men. sheesh.
and then "the black obsession with Chinese culture". It's been a well documented fact that minorities in every culture form a sense of solidarity. why not ask what the Aussie and American Asian fetish is with hip-hop clubbing at the moment? Or why do Mats in Singapore like to pretend they're black (and say the oddest things that real ghetto-fly people don't say)?
It's also called multicultuaralism. Sorry to burst your little vaccum bubble whoever you are, but there is Eminem, The Crown Princess of Denmark, Kelly Hu, Michelle Reis and Tyson Beckford. Your last Kanji character fad was laughable, you want the global-ethnic clothes but don't want the culture?
Sausser and Kant and various philosophers and linguists may all tell you that language contains markers of culture, and that knowing the language makes you more aware of the way people in that culture think, but I'm telling you that taking anything from any culture someone causes a little bit to seep into you. even if it's just a feeling that you're on a tropical beach.
So you xenophobes out there are all tainted. yes you are. Unless you're like Pauline Hanson's ex-2nd man.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
the luddite html illiterate speaks
ohhhh kay.
html is pissing me off.
I copied and pasted a link icon right in the sidebar (under I power blogger) and it's not coming out.
what am I doing wrong?
html is pissing me off.
I copied and pasted a link icon right in the sidebar (under I power blogger) and it's not coming out.
what am I doing wrong?
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