Saturday, March 19, 2005

my deathwish

I was talking to Chalyz today, and she finally came up with an answer as to how I can love life so much, while wanting to die just as badly.

"Maybe because you don't intend to live very long, you're making the most of
what you have"

and maybe I am. Except that I'm not really. I mean, if I really were to die in say, a year. My life plan would be entirely different from what it is now.

To say I want to die "badly" is perhaps an exaggeration- more like, if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't really mind all that long as I was wearing a nice pair of undies.

But well, wanting to die so badly also makes for very bad long term planning. I guess I should PLAN for the event that I don't magically drop dead on the eve of my 30th birthday.