This is another one of my black sheep posts.
I was on the phone to my parents over the weekend and mentioned that I had to attend several engagements and weddings.
both of them exclaimed. It was one of those "I knew it" self-satisfied 'ahs' and said with such such glee. Except both of them were a little out of time (I'm the only musical one in the family) so it sounded like an even more foreboding "AH HAAAAAAAAAAA"
It was like they'd lept on my words "engagement" and "wedding" as if they hadn't eaten in years and those words were lunch. It also sounded like an evil overweight French cook with a Dali moustache sharpening his carving knife.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked suspiciously
Apparently weddings and engagements are supposed to make me succumb to peer pressure and start feeling clucky.
My parents are DESPERATE to get me attached and I think somewhere, somehow, my mother has decided I'm lesbian.
I was complaining to princessmish's boy over the weekend and he cracked up so hard, he couldn't work for 5min. "SO ASIAN!" he exclaimed.
Whatever the case, they've tried cajoling, fear tactics, reverse psychology, rewards. You name it, they've tried it. and I'm still like, "Yeah. Not getting married. Sorry"
This pains them greatly. Especially my father who once considered buying a station wagon when I was 6- in the hopes that he would be able to cart me and my (future) husband and KIDS around on picnics. *sighs* And they say women are clucky.
I'll admit, I haven't officially uh, "declared" boyfriends (or even girlfriends) of any sort to them, especially since I've been here since I was 14 and you can't exactly bring anyone home, and my parents are quite
With the sole exception of ONE, all the boys I've
You may think I'm exaggerating, but the last thing my mother said to me when she left me all alone at the age of 14 in a strange land wasn't "Be good" "Take care of yourself" "don't get into any trouble" or even "don't become a druggie", it was "Don't come home with a white boyfriend okay?"
Little do they know that "white" is only the beginning of their problems. I swear if they found out I've found a few black guys attractive they'd positively faint on the spot. and if they found out I'd once dated a Jew they would...approach him (or the concept of him) much like a science experiment. With equal parts fascination and trepidation. Possibly ask the strangest and most unwittingly insulting questions I could never come up with in my wildest dreams.
My family is strange. Honest. I mean, the way they treat my platonic guy friends is enough to send THEM running (or driving) away at the highest speeds possible. Like the time my dad untied my friend's shoelace to facilitate his, er. departure.
Or when Blurboy comes to pick me up in his car and you'll see my parents poking their heads out the upstairs window to stare, and my sister poking her head out the front window, also to stare. And Blurboy who as his name suggests, is BLUR but actually manages to notice this due to the sneaking feeling that SOMEONE is staring at him. Make that THREE someones.
Or the time one of my guy friends was walking me home and my father drove past, saw me, rubbernecked, and nearly crashed.
My parents are so...traditional...even Chinese from other parts of Asia won't do. Although I think as my meatmarket value has gone down, so have their crazy standards.
That said, it's not like the guys I've dated are actually boyfriend material. I mean, compulsive liars and white hindus (to name a few) aren't your average "take home to mum and dad" boys are they. (although when I was dating the white hindu he wasn't a hindu and was still doing commerce of all things).
Besides, I hate to tell my parents this. But not only am I not interested in marriage or in boys as a general rule, I repel boys. It's a mutual understanding. In order for boys to like you, they have to feel you are receptive. (Actually, my father was the one who told me that in one of his hour long why-don't-you-have-a-boyfriend prep-talks.) Since I don't seem to have any boy-antennae at all, boys don't respond. (how I came to this conclusion is another post altogether)
In fact, if I did settle for any boy who was chasing me, they'd most probably be psycho stalkers who watch child porn in their free time. Well okay, maybe not that bad. They'd all be non-psycho stalkers who watch Michael Jackson documentaries in their free time.
I've figured guys are scared of me, and the only ones who dare approach are either
A) dead drunk
B) stoned out of their skulls
C) clinically insane or
take your pick.
Boys who like me, I don't like. Boys I like, don't like me. (and I don't generally fall in "like" in the 1st place)
So mum and dad, the answer is still no. I may decide to cohabitate one day, me the black sheep with one of my (possibly) non-Chinese megalomaniac boyfriends, but surely you'd agree that couples like that should never be allowed to procreate.