Friday, June 24, 2005

Nation: The Great Rant

I'd heard about the whole hoo-ha about gays being the only sufferers of AIDS or something a few months ago, but thought that was it.

It now turns out that there will no longer be any Nation parties and that they're moving it to Bangkok. ok ok, so my news is very very late. But I am still slightly shocked by it all.

I know it's always been illegal to be homosexual- or rather to engage in homosexual activities- in Singapore, esp since they've been banning gay conferences and whatnot. But I'd always thought a party would be fine. Kinda like Mardi Gras to a techno beat you know? I mean, sure there are a couplea thousand gay men prancing dancing in one location, but if your point is that AIDS onlyaffects the gay community then you're CONTAINING the problem are you not?

and if you realise that AIDS doesn't affect only homosexuals (gay or lesbian) then why on earth are you banning something that constitutes the same fun as say...MOS on new years eve?

What? You're going to tell me sex and debauchery doesn't happen amongst heterosexual couples during a big night of partying and even if it does it'll lead to more babies (which Singapore badly needs) and most definitely no AIDS? Oh wait. That's right. That's what Romancing Singapore is for, to teach Singaporeans how to have sex. Because heterosexuals, the people who do make all the precious babies, don't know how to, and most certainly don't have AIDS.

Our stats sure seem to show it. I mean, least sex in the world according to the Durex Sex Survey and whatnot. So only oversexed AIDS-ridden faggots who can transmit this contagious airborne disease basically have sex. lah. Worse than ebola and SARS combined. Oh dear. I guess we really should be pushing some panic buttons shouldn't we.

What? don't like the word sex? SEX. SEX. SEX. SEX. SEX. SEX. SEX.

oh my gosh. blushing. how cute.

But apparently not.

oh-kay. I shall shut up and leave my rainbow flag waving ways aside for a little while.

Must. learn. to be Singapore clone. Later kena branded lesbian. (again)

bryyin and killingculture, if you're procrastinating and reading this, yes yes. I really was shocked and appalled, but there were so many other things to talk about! Thanks again for my lunch. You boys rock.

here's the Great Gay Hypothesis

and while I'm at it, I thought it'd amuse my non-Singaporean readers with news that there is an entire government body dedicated to matching graduates up with other grads. Kinda like a personals with activities. A government-funded elitist matchmaking agency no less. Who needs adultmatchmaker.com? Not that I'm complaining. I mean, if I really were in need of some kind of state-sanctioned match making service where I could learn all the virtues of 3.2 kids (with lots of state-bonuses for pushing them kids out) and golden retriever and the joys of motherhood all to that wonderful 80s soundtrack of Let's Hear It For The Boys, what better place to turn to? Alternatively, it could fuel my quintessentially Singaporean money hungry 5Cs status obsessed all-consuming need to meet a fellow nice Singaporean graduate (preferably male) like my parents want me to.

Don't believe me?

then check out the Social Development Unit

how's this for a mission statement?

Yes!!! (3 exclamation marks included) We believe in our mission of promoting marriage among graduate singles and inculcating positive attitudes towards marriage among all singles in Singapore to achieve strong and stable families in Singapore.

Gotta love it.

5 comments:

offkilter said...

Myst is not a lesbian. I can attest to the fact that she isn't! Although... bringing it up so often isn't helping suspicions.. SHE ISN'T! she was perving men all night! although they were rather gay looking men.. BUT still men! nonetheless.. I think... hmm...

Anonymous said...

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clint said...

the social development unit is so interesting! what about the non-graduates? are they excluded for fear of polluting the gene pool?

TJ said...

I was just wondering, coming from your old xanga site to this, why is there a need to write for an audience or masses as you wrote it? Please, I mean no harm or trying to judge but in light of the debacles, I was just trying to understand your move and others. Hope you don't mind.

Cos the way I see it, once it gets too personal, peeps/bloggers will bite back.

TJ

sway said...

offkilter: oh but of course. He had such *fabulous* eyebrows!

but to tell you the truth, I seem to like dark haired men with chiselled features. As in really manly men. Like, erm, the lead actor from Somersault?

jimmy yep.

TJ hey babe, none taken. well, as you said, people bite. and although I've never written anything truly personal even on xanga, this has become the smokescreen. I never expected as many readers as I did, and I still felt weird because although never truly personal (internet, WWW, readily accessible etc etc) it was still meant for friends. Hope that gives you a good enough reply