Monday, October 31, 2005

myst's bodyparts in real life may be larger than they seem

I was at work doing my usual work thing I do, when the subject of weight came up...and I told everyone I was obese and no one believed me. Even the dietician's daughter.

So I finally spilt what my weight was, and she freaked out.

"You're THAT HEAVY!!!???? YOU CAN'T BE THAT HEAVY....NOOOOO"

then she named a weight at least 12kgs lighter.

No one ever believes my weight till I step on a scale in their presence.

Then Gerri piped up, "everything she says is like a myth. It's true, but you never believe it until you see it- like her size 9 feet" (remember I'm 5"2)

and everyone freaks out.

yeah. so I'm short and I have size 9 feet. I like to believe that it's that large to help distribute weight better, kind of like the sneaker option as opposed to stilettos. and I have tiny ankles to go with these giant feet.

so I tell them something else.

"you see my boobs? they don't look that big right, but my bra size is a size 14"

and everyone flips out even more. "NO FUCKING WAY. you're so little. you're like a size 8 or 10!"

it's so sad, I have big ribs. what can I do? Finding tops is such a pain in the ass, but that's mainly to do with my shoulders, which are the widest part of me. All the better to hold my huge ponderous head with.

"and your cup size?" someone dares to ask.

about 1 size larger than they look.

****

someone must have put an enchantment spell on me or something so that I look small, when in reality I'm really an obese garden gnome who looks like an evil hospital matron named Helga.





Book of Gnomes
Originally uploaded by Di4ne.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

i don't mean to aggravate the situation but..size 14 wow. and yeah they don't look that big. but that's not a bad thing! and you are NOT an obese garden gnome! for all you know it could all be muscle! hehehee! hmm. hmmmm. what are chendols?

sway said...

haha. I toldcha - I have big ribs. I can always tell when I'm getting fatter because my left rib starts to disappear.

I'm the same weight as dear. it scares me to think how fat I must be if I think dear is normal-sized.

sway said...

chendol is what's called a "tri colour drink" over here. but I think that's like some horrible bastard version.

sway said...

chendol:

http://pweb.sophia.ac.jp/~y-kamoch/chendol_r2_c2.jpg

sway said...

oh. and I think most of our asian cooleagues think I'm fat. I'm pretty sure of it.

Anonymous said...

i don't think dear is normal sized. i think she's skinny!

oh man chendols look good!!
you gotta try the filipino halo-halo. sooo yumm. it's like.. our version of ice kacang. only better!! lol.

okay back to the weight issue. dear is not normal size. who i think is normal size is.. hmm lemme see...serena.