and I'm jumping, from a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again

I'm jumping out of a plane tomorrow and if the parachute don't work, well then, Merry X'mas to you all and a happy new year.

and if you want to come to my funeral, please tell me mum not to play overwrought classics like Amazing Grace and Swing Low Sweet Chariot, and tell me dad not to go the other damn way and play the Baby Elephant Dance. and if they must, I want it gospel style. GOSPEL STYLE.

NO NO NO NO NO. I don't want a Christian OR Buddhist or even Taoist funeral. (and no, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Sikh are out of the question)

MULTIDENOMINATIONAL.

if some poor bereaving sod wants to read a psalm/something out of the bible/torah/quaran/ancient holy texts of any language then they can go right ahead. but no singular denomination for me please. It really isn't in line with my agnosticism. If someone wants to step up and tell the world that aliens are the missing link and that really, no one should be crying because soon, I'll be pushing up daisies and other assorted weeds, and it's nature's way of recycling things, then DON'T STOP HIM.

actually, I'd find it pretty funny. (same goes if a certain colleague from internship decides to step up and tell the world that THERE IS NO GOD and that honestly truly, our sad little existence on this earth is to procreate and end up as fertiliser, then LET HIM and if you can get Jack Black/Jerry Sienfeld/the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway? to emcee and make some really witty jokes or even an entire theatre sports section about death even if it's at my expense, then go right ahead)

My funeral shall be a riot. and yeah, all races creeds and religions are welcome.

P/S please, NO professional wailers, NO chinese orchestra (not even the teochew style you hear me?) NO church organs, nada. just my winamp list if you must (use the playlist labelled party2) and you can use all my organs for medical research/saving poor crippled kids, and oh. cremation please. and then toss my ashes into the wind. Wanderlust doesn't stop just because my body has.

P/S/S and please cremate my father with a pair of earplugs because it's his private final wish to me. He hates sanskrit chanting so.