and may I present the 2 most annoying customers of the weekend:
The OJ guy
he orders 2 freshly squeezed orange juices. Please note the words "freshly squeezed". It takes ahell lot of time to prepare, and when orders are flying in at a manic rate, OJ preperations are at the bottom of the staff's favourite dessert because they take YONKS.
When we finally serve it, the wifey complains
"it's not cold"
while the husband says
Honey, I understand your complaint about it not being cold, but pulpy? Orange juice has pulp.
If you want some depulped OJ go down 2 flights of escalators to the big Safeway and buy yourself some additive-riddled, reconstituted sweetened (20% real) juice.
he then went on to demand similar products for $9. (the price of 2 OJs) or 2 diet cokes and a waffle with bananas.
The cokes and waffles cost more than that obviously, but we HAD to give it to him.
The 2 minute lady
Her food had arrived, and as I walked past she caught my attention.
"Hi can you please check on order 23?"
It's usually the staff's problem where they lose an order or can't find a table.
I pop my head back in
"How's order 23 going? The lady's got her food and she's waiting on her hubbies and she's asking"
"I'm doing it right now" my friend replies
she calls me back after a few seconds.
I turn back.
"It's been two minutes"
It's people like these that make me want to kick them in the shins repeatedly for a minute.
A special mention to
The mini-Paris Hiltons
Oh God. Where do I even start.
They've been arriving in droves.
Khol lined (slightly cross-eyed) eyes, blonde sideswept fringes, mini skirts and white singlets, fake tans, too-pink too-glossy lip gloss, a mobile constantly plugged to one ear and all armed to the teeth with their indespensable accessory
equally annoying friends.
They stay long past the time they've eaten when it's milling with people or an hour past closing after all the other chairs around them have been taken in, demand water and return glasses with dishwashing (unremovable) stains (they're grooves, not the scary dirty look), put their pedicured feet on other chairs people are hungrily eyeing, and of course, take up far too much space since they usually order 2 desserts between the 5 of them since they're all watching their stick insect paris figures.
The most annoying award will have to go to them by far.
oh yes. this ought to be interesting. Corn starch during sex. Yes, Yes, YES!