my inner person.

I've long maintained I'm 24 going on 84, but recently, I've decided that I'm actually an Indian grandma. I'm afraid my inner Indian has materialised in the form of a conservative old lady at the back of my head constantly going "vat is dis?"

Why I don't know.

All I know is that all these complaints are now coming courtesy of someone I am calling grandmaji who is even littler than I am (just a little, I'm guessing she's 5" but it could be due to shrinkage), with a very expensive head shawl with fine embroidery detailing, dressed in a punjabi suit. She shakes her head disapprovingly at me ALL THE TIME.

yes. I'm going mad.